Thanks for sharing this. Do you think your former husband could be an introvert/empath? For example, he may have continued to go over the route home with his father every year because he knew how much this meant to his father. An introvert/empath takes on the emotions of those around them and acts like a sponge and a mirror. His prime goal in asking questions of his younger colleagues may have been to make them comfortable.

Certain personality types are wired to think of others first and don’t see (or care) about the power plays involved. This isn’t a personality flaw, it’s just the way they are, and it’s particularly difficult for men in a culture which expects them to be strong and dominant. I read in another of your posts that your former husband liked to make things, which suggests he has a rich inner life.

Someone who gets their meaning and fulfillment internally may appear to be boring and conventional to others because they don’t need a lot of external stimulation. Paying the mortgage off is a perfectly worthy goal to them because it frees them up to do what they really want, which may be to pursue solitary interests.

In relationships, introverts need to learn to open themselves up more, and extroverts need to take the time to really dig deep to get to know the hidden world of the person they love.

I strongly believe people come into our lives to teach us certain things, and some relationships are not meant to last a lifetime. I’m glad you’ve found happiness on your own terms.